vivian maier | chicago history museum

I have this habit. I have a hard time just laying in bed, turning off the day and falling asleep. I'm on a computer from 8:30-5:00 and then come home and am typically on a computer editing/working from 6:00-11:00 or later. By the time I lay down, I need something to take my mind off of the day. 

Lately, I've been filling that time using my iPad and watching videos online about photography, photographers, the history of photography, different techniques. 

This is how I discovered Vivian Maier.

Research her. Watch the news special on YouTube that a local Chicago station picked up. The story is incredible and the lingering mystery about who she was adds to the magic of her images. If you're lucky enough to get out to Chicago, go visit the History Museum and see her exhibit.

After learning about Maier, my newest Christmas wish list dreams? A Rolleiflex.

 

 

 

all things go, drove to chicago, all things know

This could not describe my feelings toward this past weekend any more perfectly. It was filled with adventure, quiet moments, laughter, new friends, self-exploration and all things wonderful.

I am absolutely sure that these past few months have the been the best of my life. I am doing me. I am exploring all that I feel and just going on a whim. I'm turning those whims into what I want out of life and busting ass to try and make that life happen. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have a husband who supports my crazy dreams and need for adventure. Chicago has changed me.

Friday morning I woke up really early, waited to get my new iPhone and hit the road.

Got into Chicago around 4:00 and my GPS, as always, prefers the ghetto-alternate route and

re-routed me off the highway.

Lake Michigan legit looked like the ocean on the way in. I couldn't get over it.

Chicago, why must you be so pretty and tempting?!

After checking into the hotel, I didn't have any plans for the night so I decided to be adventurous and explore Greektown since it was my first time staying in that neighborhood. I got bundled up, stopped at Starbucks for a Pumpkin Latte and started walking. And then it started pouring rain. No umbrella. Soaking wet. So I found the closest bar and ordered a jack and diet coke. But, I was surrounded by a complete meat fest and decided just to embrace the rain and head back to my hotel.

Once I got back to my hotel I changed into comfy clothes and had a pretty fabulous evening of drinking and fun.

And then my weekend really started. 48 hours of photos, me time, fun time, new people time, music time, food and drink time, chicago loving time - every single minute of Saturday and Sunday were fucking wonderful.

Saturday morning I met up with one of my couples who are getting married in Cleveland next year but live in Chicago and did their engagement session. We met up at the Chicago theatre, moved to the Riverwalk and then over to the Art Institute + Buckingham fountain. I loved them. She reminded me so much of Kim, personality and looks, and I could have talked to her all day. She's also a PA so it was fun to hear what she had to say about being a PA and get an idea of what Rick's future will look like.

After the session I took a cab over to the northside and visited the History Museum to see one of my favorite photographer's work exhibited, Vivian Maier. I took a bunch of photos and will write about this experience more. It was breathtaking.

After the museum, I walked. And walked. And walked. I must have walked six or more miles just exploring. Visited small shops and explored the streets. Smoked. Listened to music. Felt the sunshine and the breeze. Grabbed lunch (the most delicious turkey burger everrr - it had grilled zuchinni and roasted red peppers on it).

Finally headed back to my hotel around 4:00 and got ready for my evening out.

I attended my first Meetup group in Chicago and had so much fun. I will definitely do a Meetup any time I visit Chicago from here on out. I met up with four other girls for dinner at Bandera on Michigan Avenue and had some strong drinks and a delicious meal - awesome conversation and lots of laughs. I will definitely meet up with two of the girls from that dinner again. Making new friends, on your own, in a new city is so refreshing.

After dinner, one of the girls came with me to the Riverfront Theatre to see Conor Oberst. I love that man. Performance was great, venue was great. Got out of the concert, taxi'd it to Lincoln Park for a quick drink at Matilda's and then went back to my hotel.

Woke up Sunday morning and got to spend a few hours with my favorite Chicago couple, Jonathan & Renee. They picked me up from the hotel and we drove me around to new neighborhoods that I hadn't seen yet and we took photos in the Warehouse Disctrict and Wicker Park/Bucktown. Loved the urban feel to these areas more than any other part of Chicago I've seen yet. I can't wait for their wedding - they are such great people; individually and together. The best kind.

Relaxed at the hotel for a little bit and then headed out for my last session of the weekend with Sara and Vince. Renee sent them over to me as they just recently got engaged - they are amazing. I have not had that much fun with a couple or related to two people more during a session than I have with them. We went all over downtown for photos and made a quick stop to Northerly Island - Vince shared his passion for Chicago and gave me all kinds of new insights to the city. After the session they took me to Sheffields for craft beer and dinner. Craft beer? Mind blown. I get it now, I really get it. I plan to dive into the world of craft beers asap. We talked about what they are passionate about together and separately, how both are so important. We talked about life and the city and relationships (old and new). We talked about beer, and their guinea pigs and my adorable Bella. I could have talked to them all night. A fantastically interesting couple who I wish I lived closer too.

After dinner I had planned to go see an Improv show at IO but after thirty minutes of looking for parking, I decided to say screw it and just drive around the city. I drove through the neighborhoods - all the way down Halsted, all the way back - took Vince's advice and drove the shoreway (so gorgeous at night). Smoked. Listened to Ani DiFranco. Listened to Conor. Listened to some Trey Songz and Weezy. Sang. Smoked. And finally went back to my hotel.

This was my favorite trip to Chicago to date. The past two times that I have been I went with my best friend. Which was amazing and a total blast. What was different about this time is that I didn't have any one to fall back on or rely on if I was bored or needed help. It forced me to be more interactive, to be more social and meet new people. It forced me to learn and explore the city in a way that I could not possibly see it with someone else around. I feel so much like myself in Chicago. The people that I met and spent my weekend with? Those are the kind of people I want my life to be filled with. I want to be surrounded by people who are passionate and interesting and up for adventure.

Damn I love that city.

Until next time Chicago.

homesick for a place that doesn't even exist

This past March, B and I drove back to our hometown, for what we called "a day in the life of Kayla and Bailey at 16." We used to have these infamous drives at 16 where she would pick me up, we would drive around our small, small town for hours on end just listening to music and taking photos.

This was our last infamous drive through the town where we grew up.

At 24 & 25 we drove to the places that made us feel 16 again. 

. . . . . .

"You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.

You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something.

I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know.

Maybe that's all family really is.

A group of people that miss the same imaginary place."

- Garden State -
. . . . . . 

nerd alert

Got my new glasses today :)

They are nerdy, and ridiculous, but I love them.

don't hate the playa

During my last trip to Chicago I stopped in the cutest little shop over in Ravenswood called Orange Beautiful and was lucky enough to meet the owner, Emily, and pick up a few of her pieces for my office. These make me laugh every time I see them. I'll be adding more odds and ends to this wall eventually, but for now,

I'm kinda loving it as is.

 

 

And these sketches of awesome vintage cameras and me with my camera? I took photos for a friend today of products for her new Etsy store and she gave these to me as a gift. Can't wait to get these up on my walls - most thoughtful gift, ever.

sleepwalk with me

I watched this movie for the first time yesterday. And right as it ended, I hit play and watched it again. And before bed, I watched it a third time. It is really that good.  

My favorite lines from the movie:

"I think to be a comedian, you have to be a little bit delusional.  Particularly starting out, there's just so much failure and amidst that failure you have to tell yourself that it's going quite nicely. Because, if you didn't, you would just never get on stage again. You'd be like, 'well, I guess human beings don't like me.' That's a hard reality to face."

"I think falling in love for the first time is such a transcendent feeling, you know, it's like eating pizza flavored ice cream. Your brain can't even process that kind of joy."

"I think our whole lives, no matter how low our self-esteem gets there's a part of us that thinks 'I have a secret special skill that no one knows about' and eventually we meet someone whose like 'you have a secret special skill' and you're like 'I know, so do you, let's eat pizza flavored ice cream together' and that's love. It's a mountain of pizza flavored ice cream and delusion."

my love affair with chicago

I miss Chicago. Really miss it. The feel of that city, who I am when I am there, it is unlike anything that I have ever experienced. When I'm sitting at work in my cubicle, when I'm walking Bella around the block, when I'm editing photos late into the night, I find myself constantly daydreaming and longing for the energy of the streets, the constant flow of people coming and going and living their lives. The cab drivers, the most delicious breakfast places, the hidden shops filled with odds and ends that make a home feel more like home, the culture, the fashion, the sunshine, the rain, the wind, the lights at night ... all of it.

It was all such a simple start. A couple booked me for their wedding in Cleveland but wanted their engagement session to happen in their city, Chicago. I thought it would make for a fun weekend trip, so I went. And I fell in love. And I've been forever changed. 

 

Never in a million years could I have planned for what has happened to me. I know that this sounds dramatic. I get it.  To me, writing it, talking about it, feeling it - it even feels dramatic. But it's so real to me. My soul is in that city. So much so that it has rocked my world to its core. A part of me wishes that my young and eager self was able to up and leave my life and move to Chicago and become fully immersed in a big city life. Meet people. Find new friends, create new relationships, learn even more about myself. Discover new pieces and parts of who I am and what fulfills me. What makes me feel alive.

 

I love this quote by Anais Nin:

 

"I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living."

Photo by Nika Kurnosova

 

I just can't seem to get rid of this feeling. It's like I feel that I need to take as much life in my arms as possible and hold on as tight as I can. Fill up my arms, my heart, my soul. Now, what that life is made up of, I haven't figured that out yet. All I know, is that Chicago makes me feel like I'm getting a pretty good grip on that feeling.

 

Part of me thinks that maybe I have romanticized the idea of a new city, new surroundings, new experiences to the point where I feel this way. But Chicago is a romantic city. And, "I have no fear of depths..." Even if I am romanticizing it a bit, I am going to go with it. And live it. And make this a part of my story. 

 

The most fun, adventurous part of my story to date.