I miss Chicago. Really miss it. The feel of that city, who I am when I am there, it is unlike anything that I have ever experienced. When I'm sitting at work in my cubicle, when I'm walking Bella around the block, when I'm editing photos late into the night, I find myself constantly daydreaming and longing for the energy of the streets, the constant flow of people coming and going and living their lives. The cab drivers, the most delicious breakfast places, the hidden shops filled with odds and ends that make a home feel more like home, the culture, the fashion, the sunshine, the rain, the wind, the lights at night ... all of it.
It was all such a simple start. A couple booked me for their wedding in Cleveland but wanted their engagement session to happen in their city, Chicago. I thought it would make for a fun weekend trip, so I went. And I fell in love. And I've been forever changed.
Never in a million years could I have planned for what has happened to me. I know that this sounds dramatic. I get it. To me, writing it, talking about it, feeling it - it even feels dramatic. But it's so real to me. My soul is in that city. So much so that it has rocked my world to its core. A part of me wishes that my young and eager self was able to up and leave my life and move to Chicago and become fully immersed in a big city life. Meet people. Find new friends, create new relationships, learn even more about myself. Discover new pieces and parts of who I am and what fulfills me. What makes me feel alive.
I love this quote by Anais Nin:
"I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living."
Photo by Nika Kurnosova
I just can't seem to get rid of this feeling. It's like I feel that I need to take as much life in my arms as possible and hold on as tight as I can. Fill up my arms, my heart, my soul. Now, what that life is made up of, I haven't figured that out yet. All I know, is that Chicago makes me feel like I'm getting a pretty good grip on that feeling.
Part of me thinks that maybe I have romanticized the idea of a new city, new surroundings, new experiences to the point where I feel this way. But Chicago is a romantic city. And, "I have no fear of depths..." Even if I am romanticizing it a bit, I am going to go with it. And live it. And make this a part of my story.
The most fun, adventurous part of my story to date.
