onward and upward

The past five days have remained a roller coaster. It will never be my intention to bash, but for the sake of remembering little pieces of how this all played out and how he made it so easy for me to fall out of love with him ... Friday I got a phone call where someone felt the need to tell me he's going to go on a date with some girl he met at his gym. Mind you, we officially decided to end our marriage less than a week before this announcement. As Jay-Z would say, on to the next one.

Saturday morning was REALLY bad. Hands down the worst things that have ever been said to me escaped my husband's mouth and it was just another morning that has helped make this all so much easier on me. Imagine how difficult it would be leaving my house, leaving my husband, my love, if he was still the amazingly sweet, kind man that I have known all of these years.

I signed my lease and will have keys in my hand on Friday. I simply cannot wait. One of the most difficult parts of this entire ordeal (there have been so many) has been living in that house together. I can't wait for the separation and the moving forward. Never would I have thought I would be looking forward to such a thing. Here a few quick snaps of my new home sweet home.

 

Packing everything up on my own has also been fairly sad. It's required sifting through nine years worth of boxes with random photos, notes, cards in every little corner. My lovely friend came over to be with me on Friday evening and helped me pack up my kitchen. We also decided to leave all of my elementary school trophies next to his coffee pot as the perfect reminder of the real winner that he is losing ;)

 

Also, pretty funny, my mom is a nurse manager of an OB clinic - she's pretty much the queen of turning anything into an OB related joke. I love her.



 

Last night I got home from a few client meetings and was outside on the phone and he came out to smoke. I looked at him, with his band t-shirt, corduroys, red converse and fedora and listening to him speak I couldn't believe how I felt. I felt nothing. I have never looked at this man since the moment I met him and felt nothing. It's amazing how much can change in just one short month.

 

I went inside and fell asleep at 9:30 and did not wake up until 7:00. It was the first night in over a month that I slept through the night, peacefully. I have high hopes that life is about to be really, really great.